Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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