exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
