She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
