A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
