Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
