weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
