I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
