All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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