i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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