I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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