i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
