Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
