Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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