If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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