Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
