get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
