just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
