areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
