Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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