His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
