So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
