I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
