i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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