So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
