you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
