I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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