We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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