You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
