Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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