She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
