Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
