DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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