oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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