The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
