Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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