Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
