so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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