Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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