I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
