One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
