I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
love makes seman taste better
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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