you win again, gameday.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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