dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
