you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
