the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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