Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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