if i died would you start the facebook group?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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