i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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