where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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