Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
