I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
